Wednesday, October 30, 2019

When Life Gives You Lemons...


Let's say you own a classic automobile. The body is perfect. You knocked out all of the dents, and then added a fresh coat of paint. Threw some nice rims on it. The interior is plush, fresh leather, all of the instruments are brand new. The car looks great. You put the car on the market to sell. A guy reaches out to you about it. So you guys schedule an appointment. He shows up, you tell him, "nice car isn't it?" He says, "looks nice but I'm ready to start her up, see how it runs!" 

So you start it up, it takes a minute to start, then when it does, it shutters a bit. There's also a slight pinging noise. You can tell that the buyer is a bit worried. 

He says "let's open the hood". So you guys open the hood, and there's rust everywhere, and leaks from some of the hoses. It appears the entire engine needs to be replaced or at the very least, needs major work.

So the buyer says, "you know what, you've put a lot of work into the appearance of the vehicle but it doesn't seem like you put any work into making it run efficiently, and for what you're asking for, this car just needs too much work. I'm going to pass on it."

You see, you can have a beautiful looking car but when you place it on the market, someone who's a serious buyer, who's actually going to take care of it, knows the difference between something that's going to last a very long time and something that's going to break down a month after purchase.

A lot of people take this same approach with themselves. We spend so much time in the gym, getting in shape, or beautifying ourselves, but many never put the same amount of work into getting our minds right, and changing bad habits. We think, "I can have anybody I want if I can just get in good shape, or if I had this look", but realistically, that's no different than throwing paint on a poorly-running car. 

So take a look deep within and put yourself out there as a complete individual, not half of one, hoping someone will take a discount on you. 

God bless


Tuesday, July 9, 2019

A Proud Father




Cant believe I have a 12 year old. Time goes hella fast. I still believe the scariest moment in my life is when me and her mother split and I was on my own, the first day she was dropped off to me, I had no idea what to do. I called my mom and she eased my mind like she always does.

 She was a 1 year old and didn't cry much at all. We became best buddies during that time.
I would have conversations with her, she would respond like she knew what I was talking about. Maybe she did.... I'd lay her on my chest as I sat on the couch beating the breaks off her uncles in Madden on Xbox live as she slept(true story).

When she started walking, she'd just take off running, I literally had to hold her hand everywhere we went or she'd just take off lol, hands in the air like a Scooby-Doo character. Good times.

I'm just glad she's into tech, video games, and anime and not these young knucklehead whippersnappers..... Yet.... I'm sure that day will come and when it does we'll have a mature conversation about it.

As a father raising a daughter, I don't think there's much I can teach her about being a woman, what I can do is do my best to teach her what a man is suppose to be by being that man for her. If she chooses wrong, I'll look at that as a direct reflection of my impact on her.

One day I'll pass the torch willingly and step back knowing she's in good hands.

Sincerely,
A Proud dad.

Friday, July 5, 2019

Why men should learn to fish




So imagine you’re at a lake. Women represent Fisherman. Each woman has their own boat with a fishing rod.

Below the water are the men who represents the fish. Certain men have more to offer/less baggage and that makes them more desired and sought after.

So Women throw their line in the water using bait. Their bait consists of their beauty, their youth, their ability to nurture, etc. The more a woman has to offer, the more men flock to this bait, leaving a lot of other women who have less to offer/more baggage unbothered.

So sooner or later, the women who aren’t attracting much action say “screw this, I’m jumping in the water, I’m tired of waiting, all of these women have less to offer than me underneath the surface, if only I can get ahead of them somehow.”.

But now, evolution has taken place. Not only are there men in the water, there are women too. With that, now there are men saying “screw this”, every time I see the kind of bait I like, 100 other men flock to it and it’s hard for her to even see me and what really sets me apart if she’s constantly trying to fend off all of these unworthy individuals.

So, he gets his own boat, his own fishing pole and attached to it, his own bait. His bait consists of his ability to protect, lead, and provide, along with charisma, style, power, confidence, etc.

So he tosses his line in the water and gets criticized by the other women who finally see his value.

“Hey, you’re not suppose to be up here, get back down in the water! That’s not masculine, that’s not what REAL men do. I refuse to come to a man!”

But this man has so many women on his line trying to go for his bait that it’s intriguing to many of these other women, and women who are competitive by nature, begin to turn their attention towards this man and what he has to offer, even if only for those competitive reasons.

This is how the average man has started to win in today’s society and why men who take this approach are shamed. It has nothing to do with him being less of a man, but more so about taking advantage of the platforms we’ve been given.

So instead of the typical approach where you see someone you like and begin to audition for their interest in you, be seen and be active. Showcase your talents and your mindset and not to any one in specific, but to everybody. If you're intriguing enough, you'll begin to stand out and that ultimately leads to creating your own value. Value attracts value.

God bless.






Saturday, April 20, 2019

Hypergamy vs Loyalty: The unpopular opinion


loy·al·ty
/ˈloiəltē/
noun
  1. the quality of being loyal.

    "her loyalty to her husband of 34 years"
    • a strong feeling of support or allegiance.
      plural noun: loyalties






    • I think most of my life, I was conditioned to believe that women were inherently good and loyal. After all, It's usually the women that have to put up with the cheating and abuse in relationships and for the most part, they'll stick through it. When a woman typically settles down with a man, it's because she see's something in him that makes him valuable to her survival. These are the natural instincts of a woman. This is what the term hypergamy is referencing. A woman is more likely to put up with a man who’s polygamous in nature when his resources make him the best available option to her. When his value lowers or hers raises, the dynamic changes and her nature kicks in. He becomes less attractive and she sets her sights on the next best available option. When you examine this behavior and compare it to the definition of loyalty, we come to find out that it’s actually the furthest thing from it. The truth is, women are about as loyal as their options allow them to be. As long as you remain to be “that dude” in her eyes, you’ll be in good standing with her. But if her loyalty is conditional based, is it really loyalty? 

      Men are more likely to stay with a woman even when he’s lost attraction to her. When a man isn’t happy, his polygamous nature is more likely to kick in but he returns home and he’ll continue to do so until she one day decides to leave him. This is why women indeed initiate the majority of breakups. 

      “Until recently, studies had only been done on the breaks-ups of heterosexual married couples, and it had been found that the leading gender who initiated these break-ups were female.
      As part of his analysis, Rosenfeld found that women initiated 69 percent of all divorces, compared to 31 percent for men. In contrast, there was not a statistically significant difference between the percentage of breakups initiated by unmarried women and men, regardless of whether they had been cohabitating with their partners. Since the 1940’s, women have been the dominant initiator of divorce. It is thought that this is because women are more sensitive to relationship problems than men.” -Women and Men: Whose More Likely to Initiate a Break Up?
      By Mike Bundrant 

      Have you ever heard the term “happy wife happy life”? Well, as unfair as that concept is, it’s not entirely untrue. Women are not conditioned to remain in relationships where they are unhappy while we men are. Our leashes are incredibly short when we date up. By dating up, for men, I’m referring to men who date women with more resources than him. When his resources are greater, this affects her overall state of happiness and influences her ability to remain “loyal” to him. To her, you’re easily replaceable because you’re merely an accessory to her already established lifestyle. 

      If you need further proof of women and their hypergamous nature, simply study women who believe they can take the taken man away from his woman. She attempts to pry information from him about his situation in hopes that she can highlight certain attributes in her character to make herself more valuable than his woman. If his relationship is lacking sex, she will become more freaky, aggressive, and a more willing sex partner. If his wife never cooks, she will be a chef to him. And at the end of the day, he still doesn't leave, she becomes upset, and this is where the drama ensues. To her, she played her cards right based on her belief in hypergamy and how it relates to a woman’s true nature. But men simply do not think this way. A man who initiates a breakup probably does so because he’s simply sick and tired of her shit, not because he found a better option. On the flip side, men are often blindsided by women who opt to leave because men believe that as long as they are good guys, and put their woman first, she’ll remain as loyal to him as he is to her. It doesn't matter how good of a man you are, if your resources diminish or she has reached the point to where she knows she can attain a man with more resources, you will become more unattractive to her and she will eventually level up. (This is when she starts picking little fights with you about things that never mattered before).

      • Ironically, men are often referred to as dogs, and as derogatory as that term may be, it’s pretty accurate based on our nature. Dogs are considered one of the most loyal household pets if not the most loyal. “A dog may roam but he always returns home”. It's also why when a lot of men cheat, they can either cheat up or down because it's never their intention to level up. They are simply looking for a release, not an escape. Ask most women what they think about the woman that their man cheated on them with for reference.

      So when you actually study the nature of men and women, you come to the conclusion that men might actually be the more loyal sex. Because marriage, for better or for worse, until death do us part, is all conditional based when it comes to the other side.

      You tell me. 






Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Conspiracy or...? Examining The murder of Nipsey Hussle



I’m not here to talk about what I think as much as I am what we all actually know. Rumors have been floating around about the reason for the death of LA's very own Nipsey Hussle.

The conspiracy theorists are coming out in full force giving their own reasoning for this “mysterious” murder. But is it really all that mysterious being that these kinds of things happen every day in the hood? It just so happened to be to someone who has a high profile this time. It’s hard to think that his demise comes down to something as simple as a normal dispute in the hood. Something that one of us could go through. He was too important, many looked at him as a savior. So there has to have been a crucifix somewhere, right?

He was a pillar of his community who spent his money on investing into the community he was from. He was working on several other real estate projects at the time of his death as well as a documentary on Dr. Sebi’s cure for Aids. Let’s examine that.

1. There are hundreds of videos on Dr. Sebi and his work on the internet, free for anyone to view. If the government thought this information was big enough to take out a figure as prolific as Nipsey was, wouldn’t they also invest some of this energy into getting these videos removed or at the very least, shadow banned? We’ve seen that happen for smaller matters.
2. I have dedicated a lot of time to researching nutrition and in the course of doing so, have come across several individuals with a huge following in the medical field speaking on the cures for cancer and diabetes. These guys weren’t murdered. In fact, they are free to make more videos. I get notifications from these people every week. Surely, a cure for preventing cancer would be as big or bigger than the cure for Aids. Same with diabetes. Right?
3. In the aftermath of all of this, there’s still a spotlight being put on Dr. Sebi, so what did the government and big Pharma really accomplish by murdering Nipsey if the goal was to keep this information under wraps? Absolutely nothing. I’m sure in these last few days, every “Dr. Sebi” video on YouTube has doubled or tripled.

I’ve heard the conspiracy theorist speak about how the bullet wounds on Nipsey's body were the work or a government Hitman. But when you examine the video, you’ll see that this was nothing but an ordinary civilian with revenge on his mind. I mean, how many Hitmen are going to kick their target in the head after eliminated them. Seems rather personal, not simply business. Besides, why would the government employ this guy to do the job just to have his face plastered all over television and social media less than 24 hours after committing this crime. Why would the government give out information on one of its mules when that person has essential information that could expose their plan? It would be in their best interest to either kill him off themselves or hide & protect him, no? The murders of Tupac and Biggie are still technically unsolved(even though the hood solved these murders long ago). You’d at the very least have a point in mentioning a government cover-up with those murders, not this one though.

..Ironically, as I’m writing this, I see a headline flashing across my screen saying that the police have capture a man matching the description of the alleged shooter(insert Oprah shrug). Let’s just be real, this was too sloppy to be the work of the government. Look at Dr. Sebi's own murder, I mean, death. That aligns more with how the government would go about it.

My point in all of this is, unless there is evidence, not speculation, that this was a government conspiracy, let’s just relax. The facts are there and if we use our critical thinking for one minute, we will come to the conclusion that this was nothing different than what happens in the hood every single day. It just happened to happen to someone who meant too much to us, to his community, to have gone out this way.

RIP Nipsey Hussle 💯

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Teamwork Makes The Dream Work: The building blocks of partnership



Once upon a time, someone asked me to define what a good woman was. At the time I didn’t know how to answer because I knew regardless of how I answered, it would be subjective based on my own opinion on what I was looking for at the time. Instead, I embraced the idea that maybe there are no good or bad people, just compatible ones.

Fast forward to today and still this idea of what a good man or good woman is lingers. I’m not so sure but I do know what I seek is a good partner and if you ask me what that is, I have a more direct answer for it. Below, I will list some of the characteristics of what I feel make up both good and bad partners.

    1. A bad partner will try to compete with you. They secretly hate that you’re doing better than they are. A good partner will cheer you on during your victory lap, understanding that a win for 1 is a win for all.

    2. A bad partner understands where their strengths are but instead of taking ownership of things they are strong at, will instead force you to become strong in those areas out of resentment and not wanting to be responsible for your shortcomings. A good partner understands that the both of you enter into the partnership bringing your own set of strengths and knows that while they focus on the things they are strong at, their partner can focus on things centered around their respective strengths.

    3. A bad partner shuns vulnerability. They don’t want to appear weak nor can they accept you when weak. They’ll keep things secret knowing they need help and because of that, the foundation will be weak. A good partner understands that they may need help or need to be the help from time to time and as long as each person is willing to pick up the slack, the foundation will remain strong.

    4. A bad partner will discredit certain roles due to the weight of the responsibility they carry but a good partner knows that each role plays a significant part in the operation in it’s entirety and therefore cannot be discredited.

    5. A bad partner will wait for you to take initiative in order for them to do so out of fear of overextending themselves with no reciprocation. A good partner finds joy in how taking the extra steps makes the people around them feel. And that, is payment enough.

    6. A bad partner finds joy in winning arguments. A good partner finds joy in compromise and understanding.

Now of course, this is just my opinion but I do think these are some necessarily building blocks to a long lasting partnership with anybody. It's not about being good or bad, it's about being easy to work with. We are either compatible or we are not, but partnership is where it begins for me.

Thanks for reading. 💯



Wednesday, March 27, 2019

The Eager Beaver: Discretion and Patience

So you meet someone new, you guys talk for a few weeks and then set a date. You're having a blast, so you pull out your cell phone snap a picture of you both and post it to social media. The post gets a lot of love, more love than you're usually use to because your friends are happy for you. The next morning, you post "I think I've found the one" and this post gets love too. So some weeks go by, and for some reason, these posts stop and new ones arise that lead everyone to believe you're back on the prowl. You start receiving messages from people  asking how things are going with the guy you met. You start to tell them all of his faults, blaming him for the reason things didn't work out and maybe you have valid reasoning there however, now you're stuck in the position of feeling the need to explain yourself because you lacked the patience to get to know this person before you showcased them to the world.

Below are some tips for people who are actually meeting people that I think will help in the long run. It's something I personally live by that helps minimalize the damage of “shit happening”.

If you happen to meet someone(1st or 2nd date) who's awesome, don't be so eager to showcase it to the world just yet. Let it build and grow organically. Love takes time, it doesn't work the same when it's rushed. Along with that, here are some key things that may also end up happening:

1. They might change up on you, and this could happen fast because ultimately when people are Fielding offers, better ones sometimes arise and it will affect their interest level in you. One minute there are all of these sweet nothings, and then the next, there's..... nothing... At all.

2. It could put added and unnecessary pressure on the individual you are dating. Maybe they want to take it slow and you showcasing them to everyone could push them away because of the sense that it's moving to fast.

3. They might turn out to be not so awesome after all. How much do you really know about someone after a few dates, anyways? Not much and now you're back on the dating scene looking like some crazed serial dater because every few months, you've found "the one". But really, you're not crazy, you're just like everybody else that's going through trial and error except they aren't showcasing their trials on social media after 1 date.

4. Last but not least, unfortunately it's every (wo)man for him/herself out here. Many people will be happy for you but a large % will also pray for your downfall because of their inability to find what you've found. And as rare as it is to find a good thing, some might even try to take what you have. And that's okay when you're in a relationship with someone who's offered their commitment to you but it's a dangerous game when there's no commitment. You're inviting the sharks into your neck of the waters when you're nowhere even close to shore.

Love takes time, so, let it. God bless 💯



Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Is he she out of your league?

I think people need to eventually grasp what is attractive to the opposite sex and actually address those issues within themselves. I learned with growth and maturity, that it doesn't matter how attractive I was physically to a mature woman who was looking to build a future with me. When my credit was shitty, didn't have a savings, didn't have my own place, it was very hard to sustain anything long term with a woman of substance. My value as a man starts there.

Nowadays, women are placing their value in the same places. They are focusing more on school, their careers, and putting having a family on the back burner. The issue is, the same things that are attractive to a woman of substance, might not be first on the list to a man of substance. Of course, we do want a woman who's got her shit together, but if a man has his shit together, he knows he can pull someone who has their shit together along with someone who's "trophy worthy."

A man who's successful = a woman who falls into 3-F territory. FFF = fit, fine, & fertile. The added bonus is she has her shit together just like the added bonus for women is a man who's successful and is also tall + attractive.

So when we assess the term "out of your league", it basically says that one person has you beat in both categories. A man is more successful and more attractive or a woman is more attractive and more successful.

Monday, January 28, 2019

5 tips to attracting the opposite sex on social media




   It's no secret, many people struggle with dating on line in general. Some prefer dating apps while others prefer social media. I myself prefer social media because it allows me to meet and engage with others organically as oppose to having a conversation and getting to know someone strictly for the purpose of dating. But even then, the platforms are flooded with competition and unless you can set yourself apart, it will be very hard to be noticed.

Below I'm going to list some easy tips that will help people with online dating.



1. Presentation - this is the most important aspect of dating on social media. For the most part, if you're the new guy on the scene, or if someone else is new, they will see your profile pic and click on it to enlarge it to see what you look like. Make sure you're dressed nicely, you have a full body photo of yourself and preferably not one where you're taking a picture in the mirror. find a photo of yourself when you're active and doing something that you love and put that as your profile picture. For instance, if you like to hike, find a photo of yourself when you were hiking and make that your profile picture.

2. Showcase - there's nothing worse than clicking on someone's profile just to see that their entire page is locked up. Trust me, I understand the importance of being private to some degree. But if you're out here looking to meet somebody, you need to let them in on a little bit about yourself. Make sure there are some photos outside of the profile pic that you already have up. unlock some of your posts so that people can see what you're about. If you're into politics and you're always speaking about politics, unlock a couple of those posts so people can get a feel about you. Whatever it is that you're into. You never know who you might have something in common with.

3. Being proactive - not a day goes by on social media where I don't see someone complaining about not having luck finding someone. And many times, the issue is they aren't putting themselves out there to be seen. You can't always be the person commenting under somebody else's posts and expecting to be seen. That is a reactive approach and there's nothing wrong with that if you add on to that, being proactive. Make some of your own posts, with your own thoughts. Let people come to you instead of you always going to them.

4. Be thought-provoking - this is in addition to the last tip. Once you start making posts, don't just post memes all day. Post something that'll get people to think. Ask questions, create scenarios. Get people to engage intellectually. Use the memes and other things to get people to laugh. But if you want people to actually notice you and approach you, be original and thought-provoking.

5. Being social - be outgoing. Don't be afraid to go places by yourself. Get dressed, post a picture, tell the group you're going to be here or there and if anyone would like to join you, feel free to. If someone comes, cool. If nobody does, cool as well. The point is, you are getting out and letting people know that you have a social life. And you're not putting any pressure on any body to join you but you're leaving an open invitation. Most of the time, someone will eventually message you, even if not for that particular event, but Just because they see you getting out and you're interesting enough to get to know.


I hope this helps and Best of luck to all 

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Venus vs Mars: A Simple Law of Attraction


"Why is she with him?"

"He's so lucky to have such a beautiful woman"

"She could do so much better than him, she's way too beautiful!"

"He must be rich!"

Anytime a woman is surprised that a semi attractive man is with a very attractive woman, it just tells me she's probably doomed for life when it comes to dating. If you ask the intelligent individuals what they think, they'll understand why.

A man's attractiveness only begins at the surface. Intelligent women seek providers, protectors, guys with status, guys with charisma, guys that have a sense of humor etc. All of this contributes to a man's attractiveness. This stuff can last forever, even after her wrinkles set in, and her body starts breaking down.

Women, for the most part, have a small window to seek the highest value male they'll ever be able to attain in their lifetime. The smart ones know this and capitalize during this time frame by making smart choices in men.

I say, it's the natural order for a man to match his attractiveness in intangibles with her attractiveness in the physical. She should be more physically attractive than he is, or he's simply doing it wrong.

God bless 💯