Feeling uncomfortable around others is one of the most common problems people have to contend with. There is a subcategory of such people who specifically have great difficulty communicating with members of the opposite sex. They have a fear of failure: a fear that members of the opposite sex will reject them. Although women suffer from approach anxiety, it is much more common with men."
~Morty Lefkoe/Huffington Post
You're in an establishment, you see a woman you're attracted to and decide to approach her to spark up a conversation. You have on a T-shirt which is wrinkled, pants that are sagging well below your waist line, you're hair looks like it hasn't been combed, you're hands and face like they haven't been lotioned, and your body, a slight hint of must. But that's not stopping you, you see nothing wrong and feel entitled even, enough to get through this difficult obstacle. Her, her attire is business casual, her hair nicely slicked back leading to a pony tail, her glasses on as she's reading what is perhaps a favorite novel of hers and hasn't given you or anyone else for that matter any signs that she's up for a conversation. So you approach this woman anyways and proceed with "hey baby what's good, I'm ____ what's your name? She looks up, doesn't smile, takes a gander at you from head to toe and tells you "I'm sorry but no thanks". You continue on with "oh you got a man or somn?" she proceeds with "no I'm just not interested, sorry." At this point you begin to insult her, you call her stuck up, and whatever other degrading names you could come up with to make her feel inferior to you all while the only thing you're doing is making her feel uncomfortable and ruining any chances you'll ever have with her.
The truth is, this probably isn't the first time this has happened to her. I'd imagine it's tough being a beautiful woman trying to enjoy some time to yourself while out in public. Beautiful women get approached a lot, by all different types, some succeed while others fail but there is a key to that success and below I'm going to go over some of those keys that have helped myself and others to increase your chances with women In today's age.
The truth is, this probably isn't the first time this has happened to her. I'd imagine it's tough being a beautiful woman trying to enjoy some time to yourself while out in public. Beautiful women get approached a lot, by all different types, some succeed while others fail but there is a key to that success and below I'm going to go over some of those keys that have helped myself and others to increase your chances with women In today's age.
1. Hygiene
Women are very observant of little things. Thing that most men might not keep track of or pay attention to, a woman might have high on her list. Things like having your nails nice and clean, making sure you're moisturized, that you're clean and have a scent that is inviting. If you've ever smelled great and went to hug a female friend of yours, you noticed how long the hug was as opposed to when you don't smell great?
A great scent can freeze a woman's train of thought temporarily and most of the time they will compliment you on that. "A great scent brings togetherness" . Make sure to find the perfect balance of scent types between soap, deodorant, body spray, and cologne and remember too much of any of it is a turn off.
"if you smell good, even if you're not that cute it'll make me comfy and more likely to be like eeehhhh why not." ~@NicaRAWguenNERD/twitter
A great scent can freeze a woman's train of thought temporarily and most of the time they will compliment you on that. "A great scent brings togetherness" . Make sure to find the perfect balance of scent types between soap, deodorant, body spray, and cologne and remember too much of any of it is a turn off.
2. Presentation
Hygiene is very much a part of how you present yourself but in this instance, I'm speaking more towards attire and not just what you wear but how you wear it.
"The driven man stays prepared. Regardless of what activity he's partaking in, he knows at any moment he might come across the perfect opportunity."
You don't need to put on an Armani suit everyday to impress women. Just make sure your clothes are clean, not dingy, stained, or wrinkled. Make sure they are worn properly, or atleast in a manner that would portray you to be someone that this particular woman you're approaching would take seriously. For instance, if she's dressed similar to the woman in the example in the opening paragraph, why would you approach her dressed in a manner that only a young woman yet to mature would find appealing? Even if you're in a work uniform, make sure it's up to par.
3. Reading energy
Not every woman is looking to meet someone. Sometimes they really just want to get out of the house and enjoy the day by taking a walk or reading at a park or establishment. It's up to you as a man to read her energy and feed off of it.
Imagine you're focused playing Madden or 2k17, it's the 4th qtr and it's tied where every possession is crucial. Now imagine a woman approaching you during this time when you've given her no signs that you were even interested in meeting her let alone anybody. It would be kind of annoying to be honest.
If a woman seems focussed on something then I personally leave her be but if her attitude seems rather free flowing, she's checking the room out, she's smiling at people that walk by, you guys have locked eyes a few times even, and she's smiled, that's a good time to approach and engage.
Imagine you're focused playing Madden or 2k17, it's the 4th qtr and it's tied where every possession is crucial. Now imagine a woman approaching you during this time when you've given her no signs that you were even interested in meeting her let alone anybody. It would be kind of annoying to be honest.
If a woman seems focussed on something then I personally leave her be but if her attitude seems rather free flowing, she's checking the room out, she's smiling at people that walk by, you guys have locked eyes a few times even, and she's smiled, that's a good time to approach and engage.
4. Space provides better opportunity
When you do approach her, make sure to give her space. To most women, a man's physique is already intimidating enough and the last thing you want to do is make a woman feel uneasy. At that point she's thinking more about what your immediate intentions are rather than what you're saying which is most important. Measure your arm, and keep at a distance of an arm and a half length. This of course if you're not in a place where it's loud. (I personally hate having conversations over loud music. But that's just me). In that case then yes, it's okay to break the arm and a half barrier and I'm sure she's okay with that being in an environment which requires someone to invade her space for her to fully hear what they're saying. I recommend not talking into her face, however. Have eye contact when she's talking and direct your words towards her ear. Bottom line, regardless of whether your breath smells good or not, I'm sure she doesn't want it in her face.
"What makes me uneasy is if he approaches me with a crowd and is really aggressive." ~LoveTeish/Twitter
When out and about or with a group of friends, it's important to understand that that experience can be intimidating for a woman as it can be for you if she's with a group of friends. It's best to ask for her permission to speak with her alone or away from the crowd.
"What makes me uneasy is if he approaches me with a crowd and is really aggressive." ~LoveTeish/Twitter
When out and about or with a group of friends, it's important to understand that that experience can be intimidating for a woman as it can be for you if she's with a group of friends. It's best to ask for her permission to speak with her alone or away from the crowd.
5. Friendly conversation
Any smart woman knows what a man is after when he approaches her but that doesn't mean you should come in hot with a clear agenda. Easing into that agenda is best. It displays your creativity and also your interest level in something other than just the task at hand. There's always something to open up a conversation with that's relatable to where you are or what you're doing. I'll give an example of this below:
Example 1: You're at a bar or restaurant you see a woman order a drink or something to eat.
Him: "Question, I don't mean to bother you but how is that(drink or meal)? I've thought about trying it but I need an honest opinion before I do."
How she answers will tell you if it's okay to continue on with this conversation with her or not. I'll give you an example below of two different answers where you should proceed and not proceed.
Proceed: (she smiles back, slightly turning to face you) "oh it's okay, not a problem! I actually love it! You should really try it!" (she goes into a brief discription on what she likes about it.)
Do NOT proceed: (she seems startled upon your question, she looks briefly in your direction and looks down or away as she replies) "it's okay, and I like it.
The energy in both answers varies drastically if you notice. In the first example, she seems rather inviting, engaging, willing to carry on an actual conversation. Meanwhile in the second example, she seems closed off, short, and bothered. These things work better with actual women rather than the "hey Lil momma" she's used to.
6. Confidence
I asked about 15 or so different women what turned them on the most when a man approaches them and out of the 15, 9 said confidence.
"I’ve said it a bazillion times…great women don’t see a man as potential “relationship material” based on his looks, money, or cheesy pick-up lines. When it comes to figuring out if a particular guy might be “Mr. Right,” the first thing most women look for are sure signs of confidence." ~David DeAngelo/Dating Secrets
Think of it like a job interview. You can go into the job interview with the attitude and approach that you need this particular job or that this job needs you. And these things don't need to be said, it shows in your actions, your tone, and your demeanor. When speaking, be firm, guide the conversation, look her in the eye when speaking and when listening to what she's saying. Confidence is sexy and can tell a woman what she needs to know about a man.
6. Confidence
I asked about 15 or so different women what turned them on the most when a man approaches them and out of the 15, 9 said confidence.
"I’ve said it a bazillion times…great women don’t see a man as potential “relationship material” based on his looks, money, or cheesy pick-up lines. When it comes to figuring out if a particular guy might be “Mr. Right,” the first thing most women look for are sure signs of confidence." ~David DeAngelo/Dating Secrets
Think of it like a job interview. You can go into the job interview with the attitude and approach that you need this particular job or that this job needs you. And these things don't need to be said, it shows in your actions, your tone, and your demeanor. When speaking, be firm, guide the conversation, look her in the eye when speaking and when listening to what she's saying. Confidence is sexy and can tell a woman what she needs to know about a man.
7. Compliments
It's okay to compliment a woman but be careful to not come off as creep while doing so. One rule of thumb if you're going to compliment a woman on her natural physical appearance is to keep it above the mouth(lol). Things like "you have very pretty eyes" or "I love that hair style" are an innocent way to compliment a woman without it being a dead giveaway that you've been checking other 'parts'of her out. It's also okay to compliment her sense of style without it relating to how it fits on her or even her perfume.
8. Pressure busts pipes and also pushes women away
I'm a very private person. I really don't like people I don't really know knowing my government name or my number. These things regardless of what you may think are very personal aspects of a person's life yet after 30 seconds of engaging with someone, we ask for a name and 2 minutes later we ask for a number. Simply asking for these things can be a turnoff to someone as they feel pressured to give them up. The most effective way I've had success with these things is to offer my information first. After the initial stages of engaging, "I'm sorry I'm(insert name)". If she's feeling you then you've made it to phase two and upon closing the conversation with her, I offer my contact information. "I really enjoyed talking to you and would love to continue on with this conversation with you sometime if you don't mind, here's my number.". 9 times out of 10 if she's feeling you, She'll either offer to give you her number, call/text you on the spot to give you hers, or give it some time before she does but in almost all cases they at the very least accept the number and at least you don't walk away from the situation feeling like you've failed. Which brings me to my next point.
9. Accepting failure
I'm going to be honest, you could follow none of these steps and have success with women or follow all of them and have zero success. It all depends on the woman and knowing which approach works best. Regardless, accept defeat gracefully.
Imagine you're a basketball player in high-school during a big game, there's a scout there who's watching you and another player. At the end of the of the game he decides to speak to the other player and not you so you flip out, curse him out, call him old, and tell him he knows nothing about the game of basketball. You've just killed your chances at this particular scout ever giving you a chance again when he might have before your tirade.
"Doesn't make me think twice about turning him down LOL but he gains my respect. I made a friend that way. Turned him down. Saw him 5 more times after that. Finally exchanged numbers and are friends." ~@BBinternational/twitter
"Doesn't make me think twice about turning him down LOL but he gains my respect. I made a friend that way. Turned him down. Saw him 5 more times after that. Finally exchanged numbers and are friends." ~@BBinternational/twitter
You might have failed with her but how you handle failure could leave a lasting impression with her. She's been degraded by everyone else so depending on how you handle it, it could very well lead to gaining her respect and you developing at the very least, a friendship.
I've spent days preparing everything you've just read and I can sum it up in a few sentences:
I've spent days preparing everything you've just read and I can sum it up in a few sentences:
*Don't be annoying
*Don't be a creep
*Don't pressure
*Don't be a creep
*Don't pressure
If everybody had a full grasp on what those things meant, they'd have a much clearer understanding of how they come off. I'm not saying this is the Holy grail but it's my holy grail so I'm going to preach the good word and hopefully it helps someone like it has me. Stay thirsty my friends... Wait.. No... Ahh fahget-it.
Salute!
