Power exchange

The man has all of the cards BEFORE commitment. Because ultimately, what most men are looking for can be bought whether directly or indirectly with no emotional attachment and can also be found in women who've given into their own desires. What a woman is looking for cannot be bought, she needs emotional investment from a man and for a good man, she will go through leaps and bounds for due to scarcity. However, once commitment comes into play and she's caught her prey, she begins a series of tactics that contribute to a man losing his power little by little. I'll list these layers of commitment below:

1. Dating exclusively
2. Moving in together
3. Marriage
4. Kids

After step 4, he might as well tattoo her name on his balls.

Ultimately, a man's safe zone is the non-exclusive date zone. Do NOT cross into the dating exclusively zone if you want to continue to keep your power. Wait until after your prime (45) to settle down like women do after their primes(30)

5 Things Men Should Continue To Do Once They Enter Into A Relationship

It's been 10 years now that you've been in your relationship. You love your woman and she loves you but you feel like the passion is gone. The way she looks at you just isn't the same and you can't quite put your finger on what it is that's changed. All you know is you're bored with the routine and the relationship as a whole is missing that spark it once had. 

It's easy to lose yourself in someone once you enter into a relationship. As men, we love the chase and we do whatever is necessary to court a woman successfully but once we have done so, now what? Below I'm going to list some popular things that we do when we're single that often times stop once we get involved with someone.

1. Maintaining friendships - I think this is 1 thing that most people end up losing without even realizing it. You become involved with someone and immediately, you start becoming more and more distant but remember this, great friends are like family, they will have your back if and when the relationship fails, but that's if you choose to keep them around, and not just when it's convenient for you.

2. Being social - a lot of people are only going out to meet others so I think it's natural to stop going out, or as much as before you found love. With that said, I still think it's important to maintain a social life outside of your relationship. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Allow yourself to miss your partner from time to time by maintaining your social life and hobbies.

3. Working out - your partner is attracted to you for several reasons, one of those being physical attraction but sometimes we get lazy. Men are hunters and once the hunt is over, you become relaxed. And while your woman might say she still loves you, which I'm sure she does, just ask her who her favorite celerity crush is. It's most likely not someone with a beer-belly. Always stay in hunt mode, even when the hunt is dormant.

4. Working hard - financial security should be a huge deal for any man seeking partnership and family, but working long hours can take its toll on any relationship. Of course you'll need balance but never allow a relationship to take you off of your grind. Plan better, make sure that when you do have free time, you think of your partner first but also remember that the grind comes first before all and that your hustle benefits her as well. If new and better opportunities present themselves to you, do what's best for you long term. A good woman will be supportive of that. 

5. Grooming yourself/keeping your image - if you were going to the barbershop every two weeks when you were in the dating stages, keep going after. If you've always focused on looking good and keeping up with fashion, continue to do so. Remember, the best way to keep a woman on her toes in terms of attraction is to not only be attactive to her but to others as well. As possessive as women may appear to be, they do have the prize winner mentality. The feeling that  she's got you and nobody else. 

Bottom line, we complain so much about our relationships becoming stagnant and our partners becoming complacent but I truly believe that complacency within a relationship starts with us on a personal level. And then we end up searching for new ways to re-ignite this spark we once had, but perhaps, we should have never let it go out in the first place. Instead of crowding each other, give each other space by maintaining some semblance of who you were before you started talking to each other. I'm just saying...

Thanks for reading.

Food for thought: Sex, Time, and Emotional Energy.

"The American psychology researcher Roy Baumeister of Florida State University has been advancing for some time now an interesting theory that analyzes the sexual act from an economic perspective. According to Baumeister, heterosexual sex can be understood as a marketplace in which men are the buyers and women are the sellers. According to this analysis, sex is essentially a female resource. In other words, female sexual activity is much in demand and has high social value, in contrast to male activity, which is plentiful and easy to come by and therefore worthless. A woman’s sexual consent is a valuable asset that may command a high price. Because his sex has no value in the market, the man, seeking to 'purchase' female sex, is required to bring other valuable social resources to the transaction, such as attention, time, love, respect, commitment, money, status, etc." -Noam Shpancer Ph.D./Psychology today

One can easily make the case that women value sex more because men do. Nevermind the time invested which I feel should be held in higher regard than sex or the emotional energy invested which I also feel should be held in higher regard. The one thing she'll make you wait for, for weeks or months even, is sex. But get this, when you have sex and leave her high & dry because that's all you wanted, she hates herself because of how much time and energy she invested in you.

Maybe the truth is, if men placed more value on a woman's time or their emotional energy, that's exactly what we'd be holding out for, for weeks or months. That's what men do, dangle their time and emotional energy in front of women in a game of keep-away while they are withholding the thing we want the most. The difference is, men are willing to play the game until they get what they want whilst women will not give in until they feel 'sure'. 

But can you ever be sure how a man will act after you've given in to his sexual desires without actually giving into them? Many have tried, many have failed as they say.

Think about this though. It might be less time consuming for women if they actually knew how men would react to them post-sex before they invested time and energy into them, rather than that being the last thing on their list of check-offs.

It's possible that because of my particular difference of opinion regarding sex, that I'm going off on a limb here. To me, sex, like the dollar bill, has been given it's value in society but really when you look at it, it's just a piece of paper that we chose to give value. I personally tend to place more value on my time because that's something that I will never get back. I place more value with emotional investment because a bad experience can scar me for years. Bad sex is just that.

But don't worry, I know society is critical of this thought process, however, a different one may be needed to reach a different result. To each their own, though.

I'm just saying.