Teamwork Makes The Dream Work: The building blocks of partnership

Once upon a time, someone asked me to define what a good woman was. At the time I didn’t know how to answer because I knew regardless of how I answered, it would be subjective based on my own opinion on what I was looking for at the time. Instead, I embraced the idea that maybe there are no good or bad people, just compatible ones.

Fast forward to today and still this idea of what a good man or good woman is lingers. I’m not so sure but I do know what I seek is a good partner and if you ask me what that is, I have a more direct answer for it. Below, I will list some of the characteristics of what I feel make up both good and bad partners.

    1. A bad partner will try to compete with you. They secretly hate that you’re doing better than they are. A good partner will cheer you on during your victory lap, understanding that a win for 1 is a win for all.

    2. A bad partner understands where their strengths are but instead of taking ownership of things they are strong at, will instead force you to become strong in those areas out of resentment and not wanting to be responsible for your shortcomings. A good partner understands that the both of you enter into the partnership bringing your own set of strengths and knows that while they focus on the things they are strong at, their partner can focus on things centered around their respective strengths.

    3. A bad partner shuns vulnerability. They don’t want to appear weak nor can they accept you when weak. They’ll keep things secret knowing they need help and because of that, the foundation will be weak. A good partner understands that they may need help or need to be the help from time to time and as long as each person is willing to pick up the slack, the foundation will remain strong.

    4. A bad partner will discredit certain roles due to the weight of the responsibility they carry but a good partner knows that each role plays a significant part in the operation in it’s entirety and therefore cannot be discredited.

    5. A bad partner will wait for you to take initiative in order for them to do so out of fear of overextending themselves with no reciprocation. A good partner finds joy in how taking the extra steps makes the people around them feel. And that, is payment enough.

    6. A bad partner finds joy in winning arguments. A good partner finds joy in compromise and understanding.

Now of course, this is just my opinion but I do think these are some necessarily building blocks to a long lasting partnership with anybody. It's not about being good or bad, it's about being easy to work with. We are either compatible or we are not, but partnership is where it begins for me.

Thanks for reading. 💯

The Eager Beaver: Discretion and Patience

So you meet someone new, you guys talk for a few weeks and then set a date. You're having a blast, so you pull out your cell phone snap a picture of you both and post it to social media. The post gets a lot of love, more love than you're usually use to because your friends are happy for you. The next morning, you post "I think I've found the one" and this post gets love too. So some weeks go by, and for some reason, these posts stop and new ones arise that lead everyone to believe you're back on the prowl. You start receiving messages from people  asking how things are going with the guy you met. You start to tell them all of his faults, blaming him for the reason things didn't work out and maybe you have valid reasoning there however, now you're stuck in the position of feeling the need to explain yourself because you lacked the patience to get to know this person before you showcased them to the world.

Below are some tips for people who are actually meeting people that I think will help in the long run. It's something I personally live by that helps minimalize the damage of “shit happening”.

If you happen to meet someone(1st or 2nd date) who's awesome, don't be so eager to showcase it to the world just yet. Let it build and grow organically. Love takes time, it doesn't work the same when it's rushed. Along with that, here are some key things that may also end up happening:

1. They might change up on you, and this could happen fast because ultimately when people are Fielding offers, better ones sometimes arise and it will affect their interest level in you. One minute there are all of these sweet nothings, and then the next, there's..... nothing... At all.

2. It could put added and unnecessary pressure on the individual you are dating. Maybe they want to take it slow and you showcasing them to everyone could push them away because of the sense that it's moving to fast.

3. They might turn out to be not so awesome after all. How much do you really know about someone after a few dates, anyways? Not much and now you're back on the dating scene looking like some crazed serial dater because every few months, you've found "the one". But really, you're not crazy, you're just like everybody else that's going through trial and error except they aren't showcasing their trials on social media after 1 date.

4. Last but not least, unfortunately it's every (wo)man for him/herself out here. Many people will be happy for you but a large % will also pray for your downfall because of their inability to find what you've found. And as rare as it is to find a good thing, some might even try to take what you have. And that's okay when you're in a relationship with someone who's offered their commitment to you but it's a dangerous game when there's no commitment. You're inviting the sharks into your neck of the waters when you're nowhere even close to shore.

Love takes time, so, let it. God bless 💯